A Poem About Ares
by Red Baron15
Summary: Have you ever thought in certain situations in Hephaestus' point of view? How he probably despises Ares for stealing his wife? Well this is Ares in the god of the forges' point of view. Good reviews and I'll add more chapters. * Personal Favorites are Chapter 4 & 10 ( I'm running out of ideas, PLEASE suggest characters in the reviews)
1. A Poem About Ares

Ares you're pathetic,

Unlike Apollo you're not prophetic,

Hermes, without a doubt, is more athletic,

Without Aphrodite you'd be a horrible cosmetic,

At least Hestia is sympathetic,

Good thing you're not diabetic,

Unfortunately you're not very energetic,

And when you deliberately hurt someone, you're not apologetic,

Just like you're children, who are the opposite of hyperkinetic,

King of the sky, somethin' you'll never be, is electromagnetic,

And without further ado, you're pathetic because you're terrible at arithmetic.

God of war,

You're symbol is the boar,

All you can do is ram the door,

Can't count past four!,

And just like Otus and Ephialtes, I'll use to mop the floor!,

You're absolutely obsessed with gore,

All you want is more, more, MORE,

And all you do is roar,

When Percy Jackson beats you at the Californian shore,

SCORE!,

And you swore, while rubbing your ankle; sore,

And you always call for the dance floor, before asking for,

Aphrodite when she shouts "We're done for!"

You get prisoners of war, trapped behind bars,

And every day you crash multiple cars,

You're Roman aspect is Mars,

Be careful!, The son of Poseidon will have you seeing stars,

Do what you do best, lay back and smoke some cigars.

You chant "Fight, Fight, Fight!",

When you can't even do said word right,

And unlike the winged Thanatos, you can't take to flight,

And you might be a good knight if you could cause fright,

You're eyes are like nuclear bombs alight,

An when they ignite,

People's scared faces give you delight,

Tomorrow and tonight,

you will never be polite!

Attack, Attack, Attack,

Until they're blue and black,

Crack,

The sound of the broken bones of Jack,

You have a knack, for your lack,

Of completing a task,

without, THWACK!, WHACK!, SMACK!,

Cut back, can't you hear him yack?,

You're destroying his air sac,

Just wait until the father of Jack Jackson gets to unleash payback.


	2. A Poem About Hera

Hera, Juno, or June,

Take your pick while I impale you with a harpoon,

I'll make sure you die, even if you're immune,

You'll eat a cut-up prune, with a spoon, at noon,

You're stepdaughter is the goddes of the moon,

And you are oppotune to hit her with a platoon of raccoons,

or possibly dunk her in a lagoon,

She's more in touch with the wild than Daniel Boone,

You're too snotty to tell you're stepchildren 'Good Afternoon',

Watch as the suppose 'goddess of family' gets hit with karma in the form of a typhoon,

And watch as you are turned from religion, to book, to movie, and to an animated cartoon.

Hera, you're annoying,

When you're destroying Zeus for enjoying,

toying with you,

O Zeu Kai Alloi Theoi!, Zeus is deploying!

You are very mean,

When you clean you can't make the sheen be seen,

And because you are queen,

you are keen on staying lean,

Even inbetween you're daily dose of caffeine,

Frome an Chrome black canteen,

Ohmigods, is this routine?!,

I'd rather eat a sardine,

Watching a fifteen year old invent a chicken-nugget smokescreen,*

When you bite someone, they go get a vaccine,

Who cares for 'The Day of Juno' when we have halloween?,

You're less known than wolverine,

In the myth-o-magic deck you are the only stupid-looking figurine.

***(In the "Mark of Athena" Leo states that he should have made a smoke screen to disguise the scent of the **_**Argo 2**_** so that it wouldn't be a monster beacon)**


	3. A Poem About Aphrodite

**(Seeing as this is Aphrodite the poems will be slightly more suggestive than others)**

Aphrodite, you're a whore,

Having a make-out session with a boar (Ares),

Apparently goddess of love snores,

love; a very provocative word that you adore,

You were the reason for the Trojan war,

If you were Freyja, you'd probably jump Thor,

I'd love to see you in a boat that uses oars,

I don't want to be married to you anymore,

if you've never heard of a discount store,

You're the only goddess who gets saddle-sore,

And I'm not sorry for standing up for,

what's right Ms. Galore.

You're dating a guy with a crew-cut,

How do you like it when he throws out a cigar butt,

What the hell is 'Tut, Tut!,

You're the only one who uses that, somewhat,

This fanfic is rated K+ so I can't write about smut,

You don't know the words budget-cut,

Apparently every family jewel is an edible nut,

You honestly deserve a kick in the butt.

The representative of love is the dove,

It is above all of belove,

It is sort of glove for glove,

I understand the word, sort of,

What you're proud of, I try to get rid of,

Be patient of Hephaestus, and you'll have a _mourning_ dove.


	4. A Tribute to Leo and Beckendorf

**(A tribute to Hephaestus' greatest children, requested by 'Let us find the dam snack bar') **

Beckendorf's world used to revolve around metal,

every movement so precise, more precious than a petal,

More in tune with the world than Hansel and Gretel,

The water you boil, his father invented the kettle.

18 yrs old, thats what Beckendorf was; a man,

A tan fan of fixing sedans,

reader of the qur'an until his knowledge of the greek gods began,

There was a plan that failed and became an explosion that scanned an area larger than Bhutan,

But smaller than Sudan,

Greek fire vial, more powerful than the nuclear bomb on Japan,

But from it, he never ran,

Never drank from goblets, always from tin cans,

Annabeth was always better than both Leo and Charles at battle plans,

but they can always help you fix an exhausted fan.

Valdez and Beckendorf both experienced pain,

Both physical and of the brain,

One of them is fighting the gods' bane,

While the other has set sight on a cruise ship to smite,

Whatever they did it wasn't for their gain,

They both somehow managed to stay sane,

Even after all the monsters they've slain,

They both have had bad luck with Poseidon's domain,

One died and the other is trying to prove it wasn't in vain.

A pyrotechnic, controller of flame and fire,

Guess he never needs a fryer,

His attire, after he found out he was a son of the forge, consisted of barbed wire,

Which the entirety CHB don't desire,

And he's the only one stupid enough to yell at the Ares kids 'Cease FIRE'!,

After the misfire, because of what transpired, he was required,

to fix CHB's telephone wire.

When there's a flame,

Guess who 'Aunt' Rosa will blame,

"Fire User" that's his claim to fame,

It's a shame that no one knew his name,

"Did he just set the ball game aflame?" you exclaim,

'Repair Boy' is his stage name,

He has claimed his spot in the hall of fame.

Flame or Fire, it produces light,

it can reach amazing heights,

and is very bright,

And the sight of it,

causes Khione fright,

It can be Greek, Blue, Orange or White.


	5. A Poem About Khione

**(This is probably the one I had the least inspiration with, because she's a minor character only causing havoc at some points in the series, so I didn't have much to work on)**

Khione, goddess of snow,

Another state of water that doesn't flow,

The color contrasting a crow,

When my powers over fire grow,

Yours in comparison gets low,

If a mortal wants to travel when you're angry, they'll need a plough,

The mortals who live in Greenland stow,

food away for later,

They could really use the energy from a gateau.

The mortals go "Brrrrrr" in a blizzard while they're vision blurs,

Even if they're wearing fur,

and their cat purrs,

Uh, oh he's starting to slur,

Madame Khione why are you helping Gaea stir?,

After all you could probably infer what will occur.

Its getting cold,

increasing tenfold,

The land of Alaska; full of gold,

So rare that it is a sight for even the old to behold.

The breeze,

will absolutely freeze,

the bees knees,

Please, let me have the keys to your house so that I can steal your cheese,

So that I can be at ease.


	6. A Legend (Percy Jackson)

**(I had a lot of fun with this one)**

One thing about Percy, he's strong,

Destroying the telekhines didn't take long,

His father's trident is made of 3 prongs,

Though he's horrible at singing a song,

When it comes to his instincts, he's never wrong,

All along he made sure that he didn't belong, to the gods,

Although he made a point that he'll stay loyal to us;lifelong,

Dude, the guy's so popular he has his own theme song.

All the enemies' he has faced have to admit,

that he is very fit,

And his punch is one hell of a hit!,

Against him you'll grit your teeth and quit,

faster than you can say Kendall Schmidt,

Even though he acts dumb, he has a lot of wit,

To the gods, he will commit,

And if necessary, he will gamble his life and lose it.

His friends call him Perce,

don't confuse it with purse,

It's an affectionate nickname, not a curse,

They use it more when times get worse,

Especially when Gaea makes him feel like an adverse.

I used to think he was an upstart,

One with a gold heart,

He proved me wrong with his smarts,

In the Titan war and Gigantomachy, he took part,

Rachel Elizabeth Dare, has a gallery of art,

for and of his achievements,

When he's next to Poseidon, they're hard to tell apart,

Nobody, not even Hera could keep him and his girlfriend apart.

His last name is Jackson,

Won a war without a gun,

none can top his deeds, not one,

the titan war he won,

If he was a baseball player and his life a ballgame, he would've hit a home run,

Today people watch Percy Jackson and The Olympians reruns.

Perseus is his name,

Demigodishness is his game,

He is the exact opposite of lame,

And he unknowingly claimed a spot in the Olympian hall of fame,

Ironically, it wasn't his aim,

to do so,

He could be hit with flames, or maimed,

and he would still maintain his happy-go-lucky attitude; the same,

Mrs O'Leary he has tamed,

And became,

an icon of Camp Jupiter after the war game.

The girls wish he could take a hint,

He has a friend named Barton;Clint,

When his eyes get a glint,

you'd better sprint,

and if you didn't,

you're bound to have Percy imprint,

your face.


	7. A Poem About Wine

**(I'm going to do Dionysus (this one), Apollo and Hermes in one, and possibly Zeus. Other than that I'm fresh out of ideas, can you please suggest some characters in the reviews? Thank you. OH, and I probably won't post much until the end of the week, we have end-of-the-year exams. Sorry for the inconvenience)**

You're the god of wine,

a jerk, but its much better than brine,

so when I wait in line,

for a drink and you want to shout "It's mine!",

like the greedy old sot you are, fine,

Seriously, not even one grape _vine_,

I guess I can't do anything about this fate except resign.

After your hangover, you _seriously_ smell,

I don't know why the olympians _don't_ throw you in a cell,

That would be seriously swell,

Unfortunately we have to go through hell,

It doesn't do any good to dwell,

on the matter,

President Snow got drunk and thought of the Quarter Quell, **(Lol, Hunger Games moment!)**

He was under your hypnotic spell,

I wonder what would happen if I tell,

the people of Panem.

**(For this next one, I actually searched famous wine-loving celebrities until I found one that has a lot of rhyming words, hope you like it.)**

One of your faithful followers is Sam Neill,

Likes wine with veal,

And sometimes with _eeI_,

To stomach that, his stomach must be made of steel,

If it isn't it must heal,

before every meal,

Over a toilet he will kneel,

throwing it up, _surreal_,

And after that ordeal,

he will reveal,

that it was a raw deal,

And raw deal's are his achilles heel.


	8. A Poem About The Wise

**(I would just like to thank nameme14 for your suggestion of Daedalus, it really was a great idea :D, apologize for not updating for nearly 2 weeks (Sorry :P), and tell you, my ever faithful followers to please check out my new One-shots, King of Sarcasm, Stylestial Steel, and to read the first chapter of Percy Grows Up. I would like to thank you guys for putting up with me not updating, it really means a lot. Now onwards!)**

Athena, Daedalus, Annabeth, the wise,

none of them cries,

except when their comrade dies,

All of them have grey eyes,

The Wright brothers, Athena's kids, took to the skies,

and to fame they rise,

as a sort of Inventor's prize,

No matter the problem they'll improvise.

Athena, Daedalus, and Annabeth all have hubris; deadly pride,

just be careful to avoid becoming snide,

If you are incorrect they will chide,

you,

Hey at least you tried,

Athena, stay away from the rising tide.

They are smart,

so don't take it to heart,

if they aced the test and you ripped it apart,

Thank Zeus!, the teacher allowed you to restart,

Goddess of crafts, of course she's good at art.

They dislike the dumb,

can't stand 'em,

the old are the wise, so you mortals should appreciate your mum,

Do NOT succumb,

to the stupidness of this generation.

Stupid they are not,

Ignorance they will blot,

Monsters they have fought,

Atlas had Annabeth caught,

and brought,

to him so he could achieve his plot,

of Percy being shot,** (Percy was shot in the Titan's Curse)**

Seriously that titan is more annoying than the old sot. **(Reference to my last chapter)**


	9. A Poem About Lightning

**(Y U No review Percy Grows Up?)**

Zeus and Jason masters of lightning,

Their hair heightening,

Muscles tightening,

Pale faces whitening,

When they use their powers, it's truly frightening,

If you disagree with them and they shock you, it will be quite enlightening.

When the bolt was stolen, the sky rattled with thunder,

The sea and sky seemed to blunder,

It was a wonder;

how the continents didn't go asunder.

When CHB discovered Jason's origins, it was quite a shock,

It was too important for their mind's to block,

All they could do was gawk,

Their brains so scrambled they could barely talk,

they flock;

to him for answers.

Zeus and Jason can fly,

take to their domain, the sky,

they can soar pretty high,

"I spy,

with my little eye…",

they both love Demeter's rye pie,

their lightning strikes are more powerful than alkali.

The sea,

their number one enemy,

as the ocean's spirits can act on matters or decree,

Unless they're with Poseidon or Percy,

they agree,

that perhaps it's the most powerful domain of the big three.


	10. The Final Goodbye

**(The popularity of this story has been going downhill, and so has my updating. To think I used to update twice a day! I've been running out of ideas and unless anyone can give me some, this 50 chapter story will become a 10 chapter story. This is really half-hearted, but by now it's my catchphrase, so I'll stick to it. Onwards.) **

Castor was his name,

just like his father he was insane,

A club to the head was his bane,

Smashed and bleeding, was his brain,

It no doubt caused a lot of pain,

He died bleeding out of a vein, in vain.

Yew and Fletcher , with teeth so bright,

when they passed away, they gave one hell of a fight,

For a short guy, Michael had a lot of bite,

despite his, as I said before, unimpressive height,

however Lee was quite the knight,

driving away a drakon with a pale face so white,

he however didn't show he was scared in the slight,

to keep up his comrades spirit, he kept it out of sight.

My son once had a girlfriend, her nickname Lena,

but daughter of love or not, don't doubt her in the arena,

She was smart like a daughter of Athena,

and more vicious than a hyena.

He was the the son of the sly master thief, a liar,

with those winged shoes of his, he was quite a flyer,

don't use them, unless to Tartarus you want to retire,

He survived his boat exploding in Greek fire,

the gods destroyed used to be his desire,

prior to killing himself.

She fell dead in my junkyard,

killed by the prototype Talos, the guard,

She was electrocuted, her body charred

and marred,

and that's why I didn't blast her brother to bits when he called me a retard.


End file.
